Sitting With the Storm Instead of Naming It
ADHD—are we naming something innate, or naming our discomfort with certain behaviors? 😅
Day six of traveling with another family. Early on, the mother—clearly worn down—shared that several members of her family have been labeled ADD, ADHD, gifted, and more. As the week went on, I noticed her boys were especially sensitive to emotions, while her daughter, the same age as mine, was constantly in motion—hyper, distracted, and often not listening. And yet… they still just felt like kids.
It made me wonder: why are we so quick to label children with “conditions”? Is it about understanding them—or helping adults make sense of what feels overwhelming?
By the end of the week, fatigue caught up with everyone—my own kids included. One afternoon, things escalated. My daughter and I ended up in a long “wrestling match” as I tried to stop her from hitting her older brother. She kicked, screamed, and yelled “No” for nearly forty minutes.
Remembering something I’d read in Listening, I stayed with her—holding her, saying very little, and waiting for the surge of emotion to pass.
In that moment, there was no logic—just raw feeling.
Eventually, the episode passed. We boarded the ferry just in time, and as we sailed back to Vancouver, the calm returned as if the storm had never happened.
I don’t have an answer—only the feeling that staying with our children through their emotional storms may matter more than naming them, and I wonder how you think about that balance.
