Boundaries… or Mindset?
My ex texted me while I was still in the office: his sister's family had already arrived, jetlagged… and were staying at my place. Which room should they use?
There was no real plan. No heads-up on timing. No confirmation they were staying with me. At one point they were even considering an Airbnb. And now… they were here. My house was a mess. No clean sheets. Nothing ready.
I called my sister to sanity-check myself. Was this reasonable? Or was I the unreasonable one for feeling caught off guard?
On the drive home, I took a deep breath. And then I remembered something from a recent leadership class: Mindset → Behavior → Results
Same situation. Different mindset → completely different outcome.
I had a choice. Continue to get a little bit worked up—feeling unprepared, a little antsy, and focused on the inconvenience of having jet-lagged guests in the house…... Or I could try something different.
So instead of rushing home stressed about laundry and logistics, I decided to pause and picked up my kids first. When I told them their cousins were here, they were thrilled. We all went home together. Then somehow… instead of chaos, the night unfolded into something unexpectedly nice:
- A spontaneous 4-mile run with the kids and their cousins
- Dinner at our favorite Italian café
- Gourmet ice cream to end the night
- Even my “ex” showed up (without his new partner), and we all ended up having a genuinely pleasant family evening
Same situation. Completely different experience.
It made me think… Maybe boundaries aren’t always just about saying “no.” Sometimes, it’s also about choosing how we show up when things don’t go the way we expected.
Or maybe I’m just reframing to make myself feel better 😅 Still figuring that out.
If you’ve had a similar moment, I’d be curious how you handled it.
Bonus: The "biscoff cookie" ice cream definitely helped sweeten the night 🥰
